the good, the bad, the inbetween, and a big reveal...

I know.

I've been failing at updates.

I've sat down at least twenty times to write but something always comes up and/or I simply cannot find the words to put down on here so it kept getting put off.  A LOT has happened.  Good, bad, indifferent... just a lot.  I'm going to attempt to make several very long stories into one quick blog and then J & I would love to introduce you to something.

So.  To start with the bad:  In August we discovered that my district is not granting me use of the 80+ sick days that I had planned on using toward my needed 3-month maternity leave.  Turns out that because I'm "not doing anything" (that is, giving birth), I don't have the same rights as every other mother is granted, and I will be taking all but 14 days of that "required" 3 months unpaid.  I know this is how the real world works - most people do not get paid maternity leave - but teachers do and we have realllllllly been counting on continuing to get paid during my leave.  Thus, this was a serious set back - a lot of tear filled nights, crazy fears, meetings with the bank, the school, my union, etc., etc.  After appealing to both my superintendent and the school board, we have now accepted the fact that although we were once fully funded, we have now had a $9000+ set back.  So.  If anyone has any more brilliant fund raising ideas, we're all ears.  $20,000 was one thing but almost $30,000 is another...  We're borderline freaking out.  What's new, right?

And, the good:  As of Friday, we are officially a waiting family with Bethany Christian Services!  Our profile is online, our you tube video is up and ready, and our book has potential of being shown to mothers that come in and are considering adoption.  I don't know what else to say about that!  It's been a long couple years for us and the past nine months of pursuing adoption has been full of paperwork and meetings and fill in the blank.  For the first time in 2.5 years of trying to start a family, we have no next step.  Nothing to do, nothing to work toward, nothing but just waiting.  It's scary, this waiting place.  We always knew this was going to be the hardest part but it's one thing to know it's going to be hard and it's another thing to KNOW it's hard.

So - there we are.  There are so many more things to share but those are the biggies and the easy ones to share with you all, so we'll just leave it at that.  Please continue to pray for us.  Pray for discernment, for peace, for joy, and for our mama-to-be that we know is out there somewhere.

And now, the introduction.  The nursery has been finished for a while and we'd love to share it with you!  We cannot wait to meet the little one that gets to call this his or her home as we think it's pretty special... pretty perfect actually.  Enjoy!  Even better, stop in sometime so we can show you in person.

Blessings to each of you!
J&J

The totals...

I've been sitting here all day trying to put this past weekend into words... and I still sit here, without words.  I'm still trying to process all that has happened and when you combine that with total and complete exhaustion that I feel, this is going to be difficult.

Let me start here.  I am OVERWHELMED.  Totally and completely overwhelmed.  I have never before felt so blessed by my friends and family.  My mom is the rock stars of all rock stars and has made numerous trips to and from Pella to help me prep for this.  She spent the week here helping out and I could NOT have done any of this without her.  Seriously, she's awesome.  If you don't know her, you should.  Your life will be better with her in it.  Then there's Russ, who saved us endless times through out this whole process.  He was our table provider (even at the last minute on Thursday when I realized I had grossly underestimated the number of tables we would need), our truck and trailer provider, my pre-storage provider, and the space provider for the sale itself.  He even hauled away our garbage when it was all said and done.  I had numerous other friends that helped to haul stuff here, unpack, bake, bring soda, bring us lunches, help during the sale, pack up, clean, unload, arrange goodwill pick ups, etc., etc., etc.  I'm not joking when I say that we have the best friends in the world.  We were brought to tears at several points this weekend just thinking about the love and support that we've been given through out the last several weeks.

We had no idea what to expect in doing this.  Try that again, we didn't expect what actually happened!  I didn't expect to be given SO MUCH STUFF.  :)  I didn't expect to spend six weeks straight arranging drop offs and pick ups and early sales and cleaning and sorting and pricing.  I didn't expect to fill my garage (and have to find a place to empty it) FIVE times.  I didn't expect to have an unlivable basement due to boxes upon boxes of sorted and priced items.  I didn't expect such amazing volunteers before, during, and after the sale.  I didn't expect my husband having to live in our car at the sale site for three days because we had so many things that we were unable to put 3/4 of our items away over night, and I certainly didn't expect the end result... which I'm not sharing yet because you'll stop reading if I do!

We had over 60 people donate items for our sale.  Nearly a quarter of these 60 were total and complete strangers.  No joke.  There were even 3 people that checked out, found out what we were doing, and brought back their cars full of items to donate to the sale.  At several points through out the process, people donated entire garages full of items.  There were numerous times in the last three weeks that we would get home in the evening and there would be new piles of donated items in our garage or on our porch with no idea who dropped them off! I even woke up one morning this week to find an older gentlemen dropping off things in the garage (which is an awkwardly wonderful thing to wake up to).

So now, some photos of the sale itself.  You can't call what we had a garage sale.  First of all, no garage I've ever seen could have held so many things!  We ended up with a total of 37 tables full on top AND below, 6 pallets covered in toys, a long hanging clothes rack, and a giant space of furniture off to the side.  We even had a "lemonade stand" complete with a giant bake sale staffed with some of the cutest little ones I've been lucky enough to call friends and students.

As you can see, it was way more than a garage sale.  Which explains why I'm struggling to keep my eyes open and total exhaustion has taken over our household.  It also explains why our house is a filthy pit and we have no clean clothes to speak of (a job that can certainly be put off another couple days).

So, without further a due, the totals...

Our two day, 7-4 sale turned into a three day sale!  We sold almost $750 on Thursday before we were even open!  People saw us setting up and stopped in to buy! Then, beings we couldn't put everything away overnight, we stayed open three full days and two evenings!

So here goes.  The grand total for our garage sale, including early online sales, is....

$7,320!

You read that correctly.

Seven thousand, three hundred, and twenty dollars of blood, sweat, and tears straight into the account for Baby Loeding.  Do you know what this means!?!?!

WE'RE FULLY FUNDED!  A combination of donations, our savings, and our "garage" sale has given us the amount we need to cover our adoption fees.  Anything that comes in from this point on will be put into an account for Baby Loeding #2 (hopefully a couple years down the road...).

When I said I was overwhelmed, it wasn't an exaggeration.  It was a total and complete UNDERexaggeration.

I will end with this... 

I love you all.  Whether I know you or not, you hold a very special place in our hearts and we thank God every day for the place you've played in our story and in our family.

May God bless you abundantly, just as he's blessed us.

an update...

Well, it's been about six weeks since we sent out the letters and made our big adoption announcement.  It's so overwhelming to look back over the past six weeks and think about all that has happened!

I won't ramble, I promise, but there is just so much to share!!  Stick with me, it's good!  :)

1. The process:
We were supposed to be finished with our home study already BUT sicknesses happen and we got delayed a couple weeks due to cancellations.  As of Friday morning though, we will officially be considered a waiting family.  So, moms that come in to Bethany will be given our book to look at and could consider us to adopt their child (there's SO MUCH MORE that goes in to it than that, but that's the gist).  AHHHH!!  What this means is.... IT COULD HAPPEN AT ANY TIME.

[Huge sigh, giggle, deep breath...]

I should remind you that with domestic adoption, there is no set time frame.  It could still be months and months and months.  We could be chosen and then mom could change her mind and we'll be back at the beginning.  It's overwhelming and crazy scary to think about but I will hold to the truth that it will work out.

2. The garage sale:
I have spent the last six weeks traveling all over Pella/Osky/Knoxville collecting and dropping off garage sale items.  As of today's calculations, we have had over 40 people donate toward our sale - half of which have been total strangers that just heard about our sale and wanted to help.  CRAZY.  There for about two weeks, we were totally and completely storage constipated (sorry, not sure what other word to use there!) as our garage was overflowing, our basement was so full we couldn't walk through it, and our living room was starting to look like something off Hoarders.  By the grace of God, we've been loaned an empty rental house and Jeremy's family helped us this last weekend to move numerous truckloads across town.  My garage is still overflowing but my basement has allowed us some more room to clean/sort/price, etc.  This same friend is loaning us a semi-sized storage shed to actually hold the garage sale AND providing 20 long tables for the sale itself.  What a blessing!  Details are slowly coming in to place and panic mode has officially set in for both me and my mom.

I've been selling some of the bigger items online through a 'for sale' site on Facebook and have already sold over $700 worth of items.  I still can't believe that, even as I type it!  We had a small garage sale in Grundy Center last weekend with only mom's stuff and we sold just over $400.  Again, I have no idea how that happened as I feel like we came home with just as many items as we took over!  It's like the multiplying of the loaves and fish only with baby clothes and furniture and picture frames!  Our garage sale total so far is $1,124.10 and this is before the sale actually even takes place! Oh goodness.

We have - literally - THOUSANDS of really awesome items for our sale.  Please come.  Please.  :)  I promise that there will be something there for you!  If nothing else, there will be lemonade, baked goods, movie theater popcorn, soda, suckers... and every cent counts! And if that still doesn't get you there to shop, please come to help!  No joke, we need help!! Also, if you RSVP on the Facebook event, you can see some of the items that I've been given so far and get some early purchases in!

3. The finances:
When we sent out our letters, we listed our goal as $10,000.  Honestly, we don't know why we put this number down as the actual amount that we needed was closer to $16,000 (we were planning on taking out a large loan to cover the final amount due).  In our tiny little minds and with our peanut sized faith, we believed that asking for $15,000 was an impossible goal and that even needing $10,000 was a ridiculous and embarrassing fate.  Well, wrong again.  We have been blessed in abundance from your donations!

Our hope was to get $8,000 by July to pay off our home study fees.   Between the garage sales and donations to date, we have raised $7,544!  We have officially paid off our home study and from now on, every cent that is raised/donated/earned/saved will go toward the final $8,000 fee that is due at the time we're placed with a baby.  This will prevent us from having to take such a large adoption loan which makes the thought of monthly daycare expenses, diapers, and formula far less scary... :)

To wrap it up: a couple cool stories with our fundraising so far...

Brystal's kiddos chose to do a lemonade stand for Baby Loeding.  Seriously, so stinking cute!  Here's my cuties doing their thing:

We were blown away to find out that afternoon that they raised more than $250 to help us with our adoption fees!  Can you believe that!? What an awesome family!  I just really love being their Aunt Julie!! I'm so lucky to love them and be loved by them!

I received another email and photo from a friend that I went to college with.  Here's the gist of the email: she was talking to her kiddos about doing things to help other people and mentioned Jeremy and I asking for help with our adoption fees.  She told them we were praying that God would provide the money that we needed to be able to start a family.  (Please keep in mind these kids have never met either of us!)  A little while later, one of her girls brought this poster to her asking if they could help us....

So, there's another lemonade stand in our future. :) This one will be in Knoxville and we'll keep you posted with the dates and times!

Last story:  I had a friend drop off some donations for our garage sale and we were sitting in the garage chatting (this has become my reality lately - I've spent more time in the garage than I have inside the house!) and she asked me very specifically what she could pray for in regards to our adoption.  Well, at that time our home study bill was already a month overdue and we were still $2000 short.  I asked her to pray that $2000 would show up from somewhere so that we could pay off our outstanding balance.  She went on her way and was praying for that amount and more as she drove home... As she's pulling away, I come inside and get on the computer where I find an email from an acquaintance.  She had just happened across our story on Facebook and her family felt compelled to help.  The email told us that there would be $2000 in our Bethany account that next day.  Ummm... I don't think I need to say any more than that.  Goosebumps, tears, the works.

There are so many more stories to share about how God has taken care of us over the past several months.  Too many to share so I'll end with this:

We are blessed beyond imagination and we are truly overwhelmed.  We will never be able to fully thank everyone for the love and generosity that we have been shown.  Our baby - whomever and wherever he or she is - is officially the luckiest and most loved little one ever.  Thank you for being a part of our story and a part of our family.

Much love, the Loedings

answers to your adoption questions!

So we've made the announcement.  We've sent out the pictures and the letters.  We've FINALLY been able to share our secrets and lie a little less to the people we love! :)

Thank you for all your love and support and encouragement.  We have been overwhelmed with the response from all of you - our friends and family - and we're thrilled to announce that after only three weeks, we're $1900 closer to our goal of raising $10,000!  Our words will never be enough to truly express our gratitude to each of you for your texts, your calls, your emails, and your financial and prayerful donations toward our growing family.  We still need $4000 to pay off our home study bill (due the first week in July) so keep those prayers coming!!  $4000 in three weeks sounds really SCARY but $4000 to God is just pocket change so we're expectant and excited to see what He can do!

Now, with all your excitement has come your questions.

Lots and lots of questions.

Which we totally and completely expected and we're totally and completely ready (and happy!) to answer them.

The doctors cannot explain why in vitro didn't work for us.  There's no reason, it just didn't.  Everything was perfect - including the three little baby embryos that we lost - and we did everything in our power to ensure success.  The doctor continues to tell us "the odds just weren't in our favor".  I have felt a bit like our life is a scene out of the Hunger Games... you enter the fertility clinic and it's an all out battle to ensure you're the one that gets to leave with a baby.  Irony is, it was the receptionist, not the patients, that left with a baby this last round! :)  Seriously!  Talk. About. Irony.

With that, we did not choose to pursue surrogacy.  For us it wasn't an option that we even discussed.  There is not a biological reason we cannot conceive.  They've run every test - twice if not three times - and everything has come back normal.  This is what has lead us to believe that we are intended to adopt.  We may pursue other options in the future, but our plan right now is 100% adoption.  We are not currently trying to conceive.  We are not secretly hoping that we're one of the many couples that accidentally gets pregnant as they're adopting.  We're adopting a little one that needs a family as badly as we want a baby.  It's a win-win.

Jeremy and I have always wanted to adopt.  Always.  I fell in love with the idea of adoption when I was a missionary in Mongolia 12 years ago and Jeremy was just as excited about the idea as I was. Granted, we never thought it would happen this way, but it was always in the plan!  OUR plan was to have two biological children and then adopt internationally from China.  OUR plan failed (as tends to happen).  GOD'S plan was far different than ours and although it included two plus years of heartache, frustration, stress, and disappointment, it also included all of you and that's a pretty beautiful thing.

The process and paperwork for international adoptions takes years (literally years), so international adoption doesn't allow for the adoption of newborns.  Because we've been unable - and may always be unable - to conceive, we have decided to fore-go international adoption, at least this first time, and we're currently enrolled in the domestic newborn adoption through Bethany Christian Services.  The $20,000 fee covers the legal process of adoption - it in no way "buys us a baby".  Please know that your donations are going toward legal fees, the application process, and the home study - not the purchasing of a child and not the purchasing of baby clothes, diapers, cribs, car seats, etc.  If you have more questions about where your donations are going please feel free to email/call either Jeremy or I.  We would love to discuss this with you further.

We are currently finishing our mandatory training classes and finishing up our home study.  If all goes smoothly we will finish our requirements by the end of the month which could hopefully put us on the "waiting family list" by the end of July. The waiting family list is not your typical waiting list - it doesn't go from top to bottom and it doesn't involve just "putting in our time" until we reach the top.  Instead, we become one of the families that is shown to biological mothers that come into Bethany and are considering adoption.  The biological mother chooses the couple or the family that she's most comfortable with.  This could happen within days, this could take years... there is no time frame.

One-third of the calls are hospital calls and if chosen this way, we could have the baby within the week.  The other two-thirds of the time, you're chosen while the biological mother is still pregnant and we could have months to prepare.  I'm hoping for the former while Jeremy's hoping for the latter.  We'll see what happens!!

We do not know the sex or ethnicity of our baby to be.  We don't care.  He or she will likely be from Iowa thus will likely be Caucasian.  We're open to anything and anyone.  One thing we've learned through this whole process is that we can plan and plan and plan but what's supposed to happen is going to happen, regardless of our plans.

For those that have committed to praying for us during this time...
1. Pray for the health for the biological mother and for our baby to be.  Please pray for the mother's emotional well being and that she's doing all she can to keep the baby healthy.
2. Also pray that I wouldn't have to report for jury duty this month.  Seems trivial but if we have to cancel any of our home study appointments or trainings, this could delay us months.  Crazy but true.
3. Pray that the process would go quickly.  We've been waiting for years already and it would be a true gift if we were chosen quickly.
4.  Lastly, please pray that our financial needs would be met one way or another.  It has been our single greatest stressor in the last couple years.  We have had to spend tens of thousands of dollars for fertility treatments, for two surprise foot surgeries, for endless physical therapy, for a new furnace and air conditioner... the list goes on and on.  We found out this week that Jeremy's going to require a surgery in the next few months so there's that too. Through all of this, we're remaining hopeful and confident that the Lord will provide all that we need.  He's taken us down this path and he's not going to abandon us in the muck of it.  That I am confident of.

So there it is.  The nitty-gritty.  Some of the tens of thousands of details and questions and concerns and hopes and thoughts that are constantly running through my mind.

Thank you again for your love and support.  To us, you mean the world and you will forever remain in a warm place in our hearts.




**If you'd like to know more about Bethany Christian Service's ministry, you can visit their website at  www.bethany.org.

kinda a big announcement... like the BIGGEST ever.

So... we have some news...

Some really, really big news....

The kind of news that you want to shout from the rooftops!!

But, you don't.  Because that's weird.  So instead you find an incredibly talented photographer, rent an adorable little pair of wooden shoes, spike your hubby's hair up, and find a way to announce it to the world.

My friends, it's been a really long couple years.  Really long.  And it's finally starting to feel like we're on our way out of it... like there are only good things in sight for the Loedings.  FINALLY.

So, with great nerves and even greater panic (seriously, panic), we'll share our story with you, the whole world...  If you care to know more of our lives, our story, or how to help, please read on (and check back every couple weeks)...  This is your invitation.  We invite you into being a part of our story, a part of our family, and a part of our future.

So here goes the first of many adoption related posts... the letter we recently sent to many of our family and friends.

Friends and family.

We pray that this finds you well!  As you may have guessed from our totally adorable photo, WE’RE ADOPTING!  A surprise for some of you and for others of you, the permission that you finally needed to be able to talk about it! This really awesome, super fantastic news doesn’t come without sadness but we are overcome with joy and thanksgiving about the opportunity that God has given us to invite a child into our home and into our hearts.

I have been scouring the internet for almost a month looking for “sample adoption letters” or the “perfect example letter” or even “a pathetic attempt at writing an adoption letter”… Google failed me on all search accounts.  I did find a couple suggestions though… be heartfelt and honest about your story, invite people into your lives, and pray that God blesses BOTH parties in the process.  So, here goes nothing…

It has been a rough couple of years for the Loedings.  Lots of house issues, numerous health issues, two foot surgeries, and, (the cherry to top it all off) Jeremy and I have been trying for over two years to get pregnant.  As you very quickly noticed, our announcement was not about pregnancy.  After a year of monthly tears and another year of invasive testing, failed medication, failed insemination, and two failed rounds of in vitro, God has finally gotten his point across.  We’re meant to adopt a child that God has already created; one that desperately needs a family. (I wish we would have understood this before the hundreds of very expensive and painful needles!!)

So, here we are: in the middle of this long and messy and stressful and WONDERFUL process of waiting for a baby to find his or her way to our home.  The problem is, we don’t have the funds to do it alone.  As you may or may not know, the process of adoption is quite expensive (around $20,000)!  As awkward as it feels to ask: we need help. As the people that have always surrounded US with your encouragement and prayers and love, we’re asking for your help.  We are thrilled and honored that we’re able to be a family to a baby that needs us.  A baby that will need loved and cherished and supported and appreciated for the true gift that he or she will be. Our current reality is that we are still approximately $10,000 short after draining our savings account and saving every extra penny that we could for the last couple years. We’ve given up much – and will continue to give up much – in the hopes of saving enough money for this adventure but life circumstances have happened (time and time again!) and we’ve fallen short. 

Would you consider coming alongside Jeremy and I as we look to

bring home the “missing piece” of our family?

We are looking for help in any of the following ways:

1. A donation toward our upcoming “end of summer” garage sale.  That’s right, we’re looking for the stuff that you have laying around the house and have been meaning to get rid of!  Or, if any of you are super crafty or artistic and have the desire/ability to make something that we could sell at our garage sale, that would be awesome!  Crafts, paintings, food, lemonade stands… the possibilities are endless! Please contact us if you have anything that you would like to donate or if you would be willing to help before, during, or after the garage sale.

2. A financial donation (specifically for our adoption) to Bethany Christian Services.  Any amount, no matter how small, would be incredibly appreciated. Your can send your donation directly to Bethany just please remember to include our names on the memo line! The address is 617 Franklin Street, Suite 207, Pella, Iowa 50219.

3. A financial donation directly to us (to go toward current adoption loans/fees that are outside the “Bethany realm”).  Two options: directly to our PayPal account at juiekloeding@gmail.com or by sending the donation to our address.  809 East 3^rd Street, Pella, Iowa 50219

4. Finally, prayer! Please pray for us during this time of applications, our home study, and waiting (there is not set time frame – it could be a couple months, it could be a couple years!).  Pray that the process and waiting would go quickly.  Please also pray for the biological mom that is carrying or will be carrying our baby to be!  Prayers for her physical health, for the health of our baby, and for the mother’s mind as she’s struggling through this incredibly difficult decision.

Thank you, everyone, for your constant support and love.  Thank you too for your joy and excitement about our “big news”! We are truly blessed to have you in our lives.

With love and excitement,   

Jeremy and Julie Loeding
809 East 3rd Street, Pella, Iowa 50219 :: 641-780-4300 (Julie) :: 641-231-1545 (Jeremy)