So we've made the announcement. We've sent out the pictures and the letters. We've FINALLY been able to share our secrets and lie a little less to the people we love! :)
Thank you for all your love and support and encouragement. We have been overwhelmed with the response from all of you - our friends and family - and we're thrilled to announce that after only three weeks, we're $1900 closer to our goal of raising $10,000! Our words will never be enough to truly express our gratitude to each of you for your texts, your calls, your emails, and your financial and prayerful donations toward our growing family. We still need $4000 to pay off our home study bill (due the first week in July) so keep those prayers coming!! $4000 in three weeks sounds really SCARY but $4000 to God is just pocket change so we're expectant and excited to see what He can do!
Now, with all your excitement has come your questions.
Lots and lots of questions.
Which we totally and completely expected and we're totally and completely ready (and happy!) to answer them.
The doctors cannot explain why in vitro didn't work for us. There's no reason, it just didn't. Everything was perfect - including the three little baby embryos that we lost - and we did everything in our power to ensure success. The doctor continues to tell us "the odds just weren't in our favor". I have felt a bit like our life is a scene out of the Hunger Games... you enter the fertility clinic and it's an all out battle to ensure you're the one that gets to leave with a baby. Irony is, it was the receptionist, not the patients, that left with a baby this last round! :) Seriously! Talk. About. Irony.
With that, we did not choose to pursue surrogacy. For us it wasn't an option that we even discussed. There is not a biological reason we cannot conceive. They've run every test - twice if not three times - and everything has come back normal. This is what has lead us to believe that we are intended to adopt. We may pursue other options in the future, but our plan right now is 100% adoption. We are not currently trying to conceive. We are not secretly hoping that we're one of the many couples that accidentally gets pregnant as they're adopting. We're adopting a little one that needs a family as badly as we want a baby. It's a win-win.
Jeremy and I have always wanted to adopt. Always. I fell in love with the idea of adoption when I was a missionary in Mongolia 12 years ago and Jeremy was just as excited about the idea as I was. Granted, we never thought it would happen this way, but it was always in the plan! OUR plan was to have two biological children and then adopt internationally from China. OUR plan failed (as tends to happen). GOD'S plan was far different than ours and although it included two plus years of heartache, frustration, stress, and disappointment, it also included all of you and that's a pretty beautiful thing.
The process and paperwork for international adoptions takes years (literally years), so international adoption doesn't allow for the adoption of newborns. Because we've been unable - and may always be unable - to conceive, we have decided to fore-go international adoption, at least this first time, and we're currently enrolled in the domestic newborn adoption through Bethany Christian Services. The $20,000 fee covers the legal process of adoption - it in no way "buys us
a baby". Please know that your donations are going toward legal fees,
the application process, and the home study - not the purchasing of a child and not the purchasing of baby clothes, diapers, cribs, car seats, etc. If you have more questions about where your donations are going please feel free to email/call either Jeremy or I. We would love to discuss this with you further.
We are currently finishing our mandatory training classes and finishing up our home study. If all goes smoothly we will finish our requirements by the end of the month which could hopefully put us on the "waiting family list" by the end of July. The waiting family list is not your typical waiting list - it doesn't go from top to bottom and it doesn't involve just "putting in our time" until we reach the top. Instead, we become one of the families that is shown to biological mothers that come into Bethany and are considering adoption. The biological mother chooses the couple or the family that she's most comfortable with. This could happen within days, this could take years... there is no time frame.
One-third of the calls are hospital calls and if chosen this way, we could have the baby within the week. The other two-thirds of the time, you're chosen while the biological mother is still pregnant and we could have months to prepare. I'm hoping for the former while Jeremy's hoping for the latter. We'll see what happens!!
We do not know the sex or ethnicity of our baby to be. We don't care. He or she will likely be from Iowa thus will likely be Caucasian. We're open to anything and anyone. One thing we've learned through this whole process is that we can plan and plan and plan but what's supposed to happen is going to happen, regardless of our plans.
For those that have committed to praying for us during this time...
1. Pray for the health for the biological mother and for our baby to be. Please pray for the mother's emotional well being and that she's doing all she can to keep the baby healthy.
2. Also pray that I wouldn't have to report for jury duty this month. Seems trivial but if we have to cancel any of our home study appointments or trainings, this could delay us months. Crazy but true.
3. Pray that the process would go quickly. We've been waiting for years already and it would be a true gift if we were chosen quickly.
4. Lastly, please pray that our financial needs would be met one way or another. It has been our single greatest stressor in the last couple years. We have had to spend tens of thousands of dollars for fertility treatments, for two surprise foot surgeries, for endless physical therapy, for a new furnace and air conditioner... the list goes on and on. We found out this week that Jeremy's going to require a surgery in the next few months so there's that too. Through all of this, we're remaining hopeful and confident that the Lord will provide all that we need. He's taken us down this path and he's not going to abandon us in the muck of it. That I am confident of.
So there it is. The nitty-gritty. Some of the tens of thousands of details and questions and concerns and hopes and thoughts that are constantly running through my mind.
Thank you again for your love and support. To us, you mean the world and you will forever remain in a warm place in our hearts.
**If you'd like to know more about Bethany Christian Service's ministry, you can visit their website at www.bethany.org.
